Hampton Inn, Courtyard by Marriott, Embassy Suites…these places are my home away from home. 
I choose these because they are reliable. There is no guessing with them. Each room (respectively) looks the same from St. Louis to Peoria to Boulder. A Hampton is a Hampton is a Hampton. I find that, somewhat comfortable.
I’ve even found certain rooms I like, and request that specific room if I can.
When in the Skokie, Ilinois Hampton…I don’t like to stay in room 254. The head of the bed, and mattress, tilts downward, making the blood rush to my head. Not good.
And, I’ve recently figured out, that although the Woman He Gave Me and I sleep in a King Size bed..I prefer doubles or queens when on the road. Why? Ok…you asked for it.
Travel city hotel rooms are usually booked and occupied by a single (meaning 1…not meaning unmarried) person. And, in a king size bed, they usually choose the side of the bed that is closest to the widescreen-tv-that-doesn’t-actually-have-an-HD-signal-so-every-picture-is-stretched-and-actors-and-reality-show-losers-all-look-like-oompah-loompahs.
This choosing of sides causes, over time, an indentation in the mattress. And that indentation is not my indentation. It’s just weird. So, sleeping in the middle of the big king size bed is impossible what with the crater to my right or left while I try to balance myself on top of the ridge that separates the now two distinct sides.
So, even if the queen size or double size near the widescreen-tv-that-doesn’t-actually-have-an-HD-signal-so-every-picture-is-stretched-and-actors-and-reality-show-losers-all-look-like-oompah-loompahs, has a crater…it’s in the middle of the bed and there is no balancing to be done. Therefore I get a better nights sleep. (who am I kidding, I sleep like crap no matter where I am…thanks Dad)
All that to say that even though these places are my refuge for some days, I have on occasion, awaken (woke? awoken?…suposubly?) in the middle of the night and not really known where I was. Confusion ensues, I run into the wall that shouldn’t be there, and then wake up head back to my crater.
Being in strange places makes people do strange things.
I pulled my rental mobile in to the parking lot of the latest Hampton and noticed what looked like another rental car parked in my favorite spot. Right next the door. (I usually pretend there’s a valet waiting for me, toss my keys and say…”Good morning Hector…be careful with her…she’s a ‘bute..and she corners like she’s on rails!” But that doesn’t happen, so I just check in and then move my car)
Now I have to walk…across the entire parking lot (20 yards)…dragging my luggage and parifinalia all the way (it has wheels…) to the sliding-automatic-Get-Smart-style-doors.
Side note: I don’t stay places where the front doors aren’t sliding-automatic-Get-Smart-style-doors…I hate having to stop, let go of luggage, open door, move my luggage, get through door without my luggage getting caught as door (which is too heavy) closes…and oh look…ANOTHER SET OF REGULAR PEOPLE NON sliding-automatic-Get-Smart-style-doors! Ugh
Where was I? Oh yeah…car in my spot…
As I drove past them, I noticed 3 people in this car that was parked in my spot…the two up front were bent over looking at the steering wheel, and the passenger in the back was craning their neck to see whatever it was the other two were looking at.
I got out of my fine ride, and started walking to the front of the hotel, toward the car in my spot…Noticed they were still perplexed about something…and noticed the driver of said car in my spot, was looking up at me and then would look away…looking up at me and then would look away.
Being the kind traveler I am (stop it)…I asked…”Do you need some help…?”
The driver, the older man (60’s), said “Yes…I can’t seem to get my key to fit in the ignition of my rental car again”
I said..”Well…let me look at it…”
I slide into the car…“Hi. How are you…person up front and person in back seat?”
“Good” they say…“We’re not sure why the key won’t work any more.”
I scan the car to see what type of car it is…the logo on the steering wheel is familiar. It’s a Toyota. Nice.
And in a split second, I notice something about the feel of the key in my hand, that driver man had handed to me. Hmmmm…..It doesn’t feel like a typical Toyota key…(yes…I’m CARnak the great! No…I have a Toyota at home so I am familiar with the key).
I look at the key in my hand…step out of the car (in slow motion), and before I walk through the sliding-automatic-Get-Smart-style-doors, I toss the keys to the older man (60’s)…grab my luggage and say…
“This is a Ford key”
I think I heard them say “Who was that masked man?” as I walked away.
Well done Captain Key Man! Well done!!!