Friday, April 2, 2010
I travel a lot. And when I do, well, basically, everyone is in my way. Yeah I know, you think I’m one of those travelers. Actually I’m not. The kinder-gentler Jeff comes out at the airport. I can be patient. (stop it!). But the cast of characters I encounter have a tendency to make me wonder if most people are actually raised by wolves.
This morning I arrived at the airport for my 10:30 am flight at about 6:00 am. I couldn’t sleep (story of my life), so I got up and went. Plus, knowing that it’s a holiday and the start of spring break for people…I figured I’d beat the crowd, or have plenty of time to wait in the security line if it was busy.
Side Note: I love getting to the airport early. Drives the-woman-he-gave-me nuts!
So at rental car return, I walk inside the building to get my receipt (no one was willing to be outside waiting for me to return my car at that hour) and I encounter Character #1 for the day: Staring-Man.
You know the kind. The kind that stare at you when you walk in a room, and keep staring at you. You turn away, then come back, and they are still staring at you. You turn away again, now using your spidey sense to determine if they have fixed their eyes somewhere else, when the time is right, you raise our eyes…and…there they are…again…staring!
I stood waiting while they helped him with his receipt. Funny. Staring-Man is also a talker. He and counter-boy were having a great time talking about…WHO CARES…I’ve got 4 hours til my flight leaves…let’s go let’s go let’s go!
He left the counter and got on the shuttle. Good.
Counter-boy wants to talk to me…yeah, no. I got something important to look at on my iPhone (Text Todd: “KENNY!”) “Sign here…here and here….here’s your receipt”
“Thanks!”
I get on the shuttle, there’s Staring-Man. Staring. “How are you?” he says (ugh…he’s talking to me…it’s 6ish a.m….Go. Away!) “Fine, thanks…you?” (pleasedon’tanswer)
Shuttle driver: “What airline?” Staring-Man motions to me to mention my airline first… “Southwest”…Staring-Man says, “Delta”.
We pull up to the terminal to the SOUTHWEST door, I go to get up…and Staring-Man gets off the shuttle in front of me. Delta is not at this stop. What is he doing?…(now I’m worried he’s gonna stalk me and kill me).
He disappears. I check luggage…go to security…not too big of a crowd. Good, I’ll have time to get something to eat.
WAIT! There he is…coming up behind me (I’m gonna die)
I get to the front of the line. Mr. checks-everyones-drivers-license clears me. I choose the closest and shortest we-care-about-terrorism-so-we’re-gonna-make-going-to-your-plane-take-forever lane…I get on the shuttle (because the plane gates are actually in another state!)
Ok…good…Staring-Man is…ON THIS SHUTTLE! (someone tell my wife I love her)
Now…I have to go all the way from security, to the C gates. Alphabetically…3 stops. Whew! Delta Airline is at the B gates. Staring-Man will be a few hundred miles from me, while I’m at the C gates. But, Staring-Man doesn’t get off the shuttle at B. (fatherwejuss: I bequeath my iMac to Josh, my MacBook to Sarah, and all peripherals to Nathan -which he will sell and buy a new MacBook Pro-Kim gets everything else)
So now what? Voice over: “The next stop is the C gates, please exit the shuttle and proceed to the escalators.” I get off the shuttle, get on the escalator, look up and, yes, there he is, Staring-Man, doing what he does best. Staring. Ugh…
He’s goes right, I go left. I get pancakes. (I love pancakes)
I never saw him again…but who knows, I haven’t gotten on my flight…with my luck, he’ll be the pilot.
Like I said, I haven’t gotten on my flight…there a plenty of more characters to tell you about (Technically-Challenged-Loud-Talking-Old-Man or Fat-Guy-Eating-Breakfast-Sandwich-Over-Laptop-and-Sitting-Next-to-Me, and there’s Do-You-Want-Sausage?-Sausage?-Do-You-Want-Sausage-Guy) Then there’ll be the characters on the plane that seem to choose to travel the same days as me!
Wish me luck!
